Versione Italiana : https://nathjy.travel.blog/2020/08/29/umberto-il-mago-versione-italiana/

At the « Orto delle fate », a wonderful ecological garden dedicated to the production of organic vegetables and watched over by two fairies, Giulia and Renata, there is also a magical kitchen, « la Cucina di Merlino ».

Despite the name of the place, the magician who works there is not called Merlin, but Umberto. Less famous, the latter is nonetheless immensely talented and admired by young and old alike. About every two days, the guests of the fairy garden – for this garden also includes some little love nests for the reception of holidaymakers, ours is called « Bisentina », and the others… but as this article is not meant to be a tourist guide, I will stop here a description that might become too touristy and if you are interested, I will refer you to the fairies’ website: ortodellefate. it – the guests of the fairy garden, as I said, are invited to a dinner concocted by Umberto’s masterful magic wand.

This dinner, only by reservation, starts at 8.30 pm and can be a dream evening for singles, or romantic for couples or happy for families and/or groups of friends of 3, 6 or 12 people, because the atmosphere of the place and the warmth of the climate, combined with the falling night and the attentive and warm welcome, make it suitable for all those who want to share something.

For us it will be… a romantic evening!

The menu is not a surprise, as the fairy Giulia revealed it to you the day before when she took your reservation. Curious, you might say, because generally magicians like to keep the mystery floating until the end. But this is not the case here. To tell the truth, this practice is rather the fact of the magician, who surprises and amazes you. A magician is much more serious: it takes reality from you, it transforms it, it enchants it, it transports you to a marvellous country, whether it is from Alice, Sheherazade, Harry Potter, Mary Poppins or Peter Pan. Wonderful, so imaginary, you will retort, and therefore non-existent. Fatal error! Imaginary means that it exists so much that only it can really give meaning and taste to our life, and therefore it is only possible to enjoy it very briefly, in very small doses. Otherwise it would be immediate death, as what usually surrounds us would seem bland and uninteresting. The true magician is the one who shows us that our world is wonderful when we know how to look at it, feel it, smell it, taste it and finally feed on it.

Umberto is therefore a real magician, and this is how he works. 1st magic formula: « Fromaggi con nostre marmellate ».

Either, three good pieces of Italian cheese, well matured, with homemade jam. The first one is with chilli pepper. Its red-orange colour invites us to visit it first. A small piece of cheese, a hazelnut of this jam and here are our taste buds gently titillated at first, then fully awakened so that we can unearth the slightest of the flavours hidden in this cheese. Which cheese was it, you ask me? I don’t know, and we don’t care: it’s enough for Umberto to know, it’s up to us to let ourselves be carried away by its magic, and here we are in a magical country, dazzled and satisfied, fully fulfilled but our senses are fully awakened, sharpened for another experience, ready to live something even stronger… so frankly, it’s no use mimicking a culinary guide. The definitive opinions and detailed information offered by this kind of guide are antidotes to magic, just as women’s magazines are antidotes to love. You think you know everything you need to know, and above all what would be the best – thanks to the stars – and you miss the essential, far from the stars.

So I wouldn’t make a « michelinesque » description, because here our senses and our trust in the magician are enough to visit the stars. So three different Italian cheeses and now a jam with onions, whose bistre colour for the blow does not make the attraction. This is probably why we come second. And now it’s time for the sweetness and powerful aroma of onion for an instant intoxication of all our senses, as if time becomes matter, at once smooth and fragrant, familiar and completely new. Intoxicating, I said? Yes, intoxicated in the sense that the brain loses its bearings without noticing it, increases its capacity to feel, accelerates its powers of perception and analysis, while slowing down time.

And there – I imagine – the question and the reproach that comes to your mind: « Wine? You haven’t told us about wine yet! « It’s true, and for good reason, I haven’t had a drop of it during the whole meal. For some time now, either as the result of a personal chaotic path or as a consequence of my new professional occupations, I have not been drinking any more. No wine, beer or spirits… but that doesn’t stop the magic from working. Neither does alcohol, because Umberto is not against it, and he offers some good ones to those who want them. What’s more, I think I caught a glimpse of the magician, through the kitchen door, raising his elbow.

He probably worked hard at it, unless he had checked that this wine was the right one, or he was simply thirsty and enjoyed a drink. In short, he is not against it, and wine can contribute to its magic, but it is not indispensable, because I was transported to the land of a thousand and one nights that evening, and without a gram of ethanol. I don’t know if, as the old ministerial prevention message says, « Without alcohol the party is crazier », but in any case, my magician Umberto didn’t miss his wand: I had a great time… and it was only the « Antipasti ». Antipasti finished, time for the Primi, but quietly. Because for magic to work, you have to give your taste buds a rest between the strokes of the magic wand. Moreover, Umberto is alone in the kitchen, certainly with the help of the fairies Renata and Giulia, who also provide all the service.

Ah the garden fairies, that’s something! The fairy Renata thinks she is a thousand years old, but she is barely 50. Tirelessly, she flies from task to task, from evening to morning and from morning to evening, with a smile on her face, with such grace that watching her work rests. It’s true that fairies, never tired, don’t sleep.

The fairy Giulia is a concentrate of energy. Here she is, here she is, here she is, here she is again, here a burst of laughter and here everybody is regenerated. This being said, Umberto is alone in the kitchen for Antipasti, Primi, Secondi, Contorni and Dolci, with two choices each time (except for the Dolci), fresh and cooked on the spot, for 15 guests that evening. However, it can be for up to 25 guests. Hats off to the magician! This is great art, and with a smile, connoisseurs will appreciate it. « Penne ‘ORAPASTA’ con calamarata alla Merlino » was the second magic formula. Pasta with ancient cereals, home-made from sowing to cooking – Nathalie must tell you about it in another article, so I won’t say any more – with squid and a magic sauce that immediately plunged me a thousand places under the sea, in the land of the little mermaid and Jack Sparrow.

With all our taste buds forward, here we are on the deck facing the fragrant and refreshing sea spray, then brushing against algae and coral in the middle of butterfly fish, and rising to the surface to taste the warm, humid and iodised sea breeze. And, by the way, whether it’s the penne or squid: perfect cooking. This Umberto, what a mastery! A time passes, then, preceded by a loud and lively laugh, here comes the fairy Giulia who appears and, in a flash, takes away the empty plates, rid of the slightest crumb, then appears again and here come the Secondi. « Filetto di coregone allo zafferano ».

The coregone is the fish of the lake of Bolsena, a hundred metres from where we are. Fished this morning, there is no fresher, unless you come with your fishing rod. A glance towards the lake whose silvery reflections we can now see, because night has fallen, and a small thank you for the gift he gave us, then back to our plate where the gift transformed by Umberto’s rod awaits us.

The coregone is divinely well done, and without a stop. Decidedly, when it comes to cooking, Umberto is a first-class magician! Adorned with saffron to come to us, this dish has become the meeting point of Lazio and the Tafraout valley. A lake surrounded by hills and the valley of the Middle Atlas. Dolce vita and Inch Allah. Two countries where one still knows how to take the time to live. Two countries where we don’t joke about food and where we have never eaten badly. This is not the case in many other countries, located much further north, where we pride ourselves on being « much more serious » than these southern countries. This seriousness implies « financially », but it is at the price of our taste buds and stomachs. I will never describe what we are sometimes made to eat there, visiting the dumps is not my thing. That being said, I don’t deny that we live there for a very long time… but it is at the price of any magic experience. « French fries » is the magic formula that announces the Contorni.

Organic potatoes grown in the fairy’s garden, a touch of Umberto’s baguette, and here are perfectly crispy Chips, without being burnt or black, but perfectly crispy around a perfectly cooked and soft heart, melting at will. The perfect cooking oil adds a touch of fruitiness. No need for salt, just an inch and an index finger to eat them, because real french fries, excuse my belgitude, are eaten with the fingers. All that’s missing are cones made from old newspapers and that would be more than perfect, so my belgitude is inclined, and the Frenchman that I am can only note once again: the real country of cooking is Italy! Here, I hear many French voices raising their voices: « Italy! But what do you do with our many starred restaurants and our many chefs who are equally starred when they are not the best workers in France? ». Answer: nothing. I have no taste for disproportionate and unreasonable things. Only people who have lost the value of things, for a moment or permanently, go to these places. Here, in Italy, in any restaurant, in any family or even on any motorway area, you eat well and at a fair price.

This is where Umberto shows that he is undeniably a great magician. Because all I have just described to you is 25 euros – excluding drinks of course, don’t push it. Such magic, such quality, such pleasure, it’s stealing, but the other way round! The French that we are are all astonished, the Italians around us just seem to find it normal. Yes, others will tell me, but still, a great restaurant is still very good, and on a great occasion, you can afford it. It’s true, but it’s not with « great occasions » that these companies live, but thanks to people who have lost a whole range of sensations and emotions, because they are linked to the heart, and at home, the stomach has taken up all the space, unless it’s the wallet… but I stop there, I’m too ashamed for humanity when I think that such people exist.

Luckily here is the fairy Giulia, who with a flick of her wrist clears the table and whirls away, so that the fairy Renata, who suddenly appears without us seeing her arrive, can put down the Dolci. « Gelato con fichi ». A commonplace formula, you might say, but just as effective as the previous ones. The magician Umberto succeeds in making us forget the « UHT » sign and takes us back to the beginning of our life where everything was milk and sweetness. No doubt we would have fallen asleep, after a little « roast », if he hadn’t added a delicately peeled fig, whose creamy white exterior pulled us out of the ice cream to carry us inside. A raspberry red, intensely perfumed and softly sweet, taking us in turn to other memories much later and which good manners forbid me to describe any further. With this we ate like four, but, magic of Umberto, the digestion was light, and throughout a soft night we slept like dormice. The following day, Umberto’s magic took us away again…  » Bruschettine assortite », « Flan di riso e gamberi », « Filetto di goregone alle erbe », « Faggiolini all’agro », « Gelato frutti di bosco » …

Par Jean-Yves

Translated with http://www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)